Stop “Tolerations” From Ruining Your Life! - BlogWire

Monday, June 4, 2018

Stop “Tolerations” From Ruining Your Life!

Are you a naturally tolerant person?

Do you find that maybe you’re TOO tolerant of others?

If you’re REALLY too tolerant of others, you might be co-dependent! Co-dependent people are patterned from childhood to take care of others before themselves at the cost to themselves.

I’ve always called tolerating as “putting up with _____ (fill in the blank!),” or, if you’ve heard me speak you may have heard me call it “being user-friendly!” It’s always about putting yourself second or last. This is not okay.


Do you tolerate, or put up with people, situations, events, experiences, habits, thinking and routines (to name a few) too much? Can you remember a time when you had “had it,” and said, “That’s enough!”? That was the “shift” in stopping tolerations rule over your life. Draw the line in the sand. Good for you!

I noticed years ago that when something happened about which I needed to take action, or say something because I had feelings or an opinion, I kind of went on stun, or numb. I didn’t realize I had something to say until a day or two or more later! By then, I ended up feeling angry or crying or both depending on the situation. I’m a very tolerant person. That also means, for me, that I don’t like conflict and confrontation. However, I still have to deal with it because it’s sure dealing with me . . . inside out!

Tolerations can be very small or large, but what is the same no matter what size they are, is that they steal your energy, time, money, ability to reason and act for your own good, causing unnecessary stress, frustration, angst and confusion – brain fog – as well as a host of other negative side-effects.

Here are some examples of tolerations:

– Tolerating and struggling with a thing, like a cabinet drawer that doesn’t shut correctly and takes up time and effort every time you use it.

– Tolerating a lock on the front door that doesn’t lock easily and takes up your precious time and effort every time you lock and unlock it.

– Tolerating your car that has engine problems, but you keep putting off getting it fixed for “later.”
– Tolerating financial problems, yours or someone else’s, living in fear, guilt, anxiety, paranoia and embarrassment at times.

– Tolerating living with and walking around clutter, disorganization, mess, piles, heaps and indecision.

– Tolerating a friend who is wonderful most of the time, but rude, always has to be right, has to have the last word, controls or manipulates on occasion or embarrasses you, taking up your energy and blocking your joy.

– Tolerating your weight, even though it’s affecting your health, back and self-esteem.

– Tolerating a relationship with your spouse and their not helping out when your need it.
Now, add your own!

It’s easy to “put up with” a lot of things, people and experiences. . . but at what cost?

If you could label yourself the classic “co-dependent”, or if you grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family, you probably are a very big tolerator. You let people (energy vampires) suck your energy dry with very little resistance, because you were programmed for it. Just say no, right? HA! What?! Sometimes you don’t even know you need to stop something from happening until after it’s gone on too long.


How do you stop tolerations from ruling your life?

1. Write a list of your 20 tolerations.
2. Write at least one solution to each.
3. Start taking action on the solutions, one at a time!

Without action, your tolerations will stay alive and well, taking you off track every day. Take action on the small, non-threatening ones first. Figure out what you need and fix the cabinet door and the front door lock, make the appointment to get the car fixed, choose a weight adjustment or health program (not diet!) and exercise to help your body. Take just one item from your list at a time and do something towards a solution.

You will notice small and major shifts, “aha’s!” and changes in your attitude and energy by taking action, taking charge and taking back your life on a daily basis.

Life’s too short to lose ourselves in such unnecessary ways!

Oh, by the way, you need to be ready for the fact that some people WILL NOT LIKE your taking care of yourself FIRST and not tolerating their behavior. That’s okay! Keep doing your life.

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